Thursday, December 29, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Ask Mistress Didi*
For many years, I have contributed My Pearls of Wisdom to various publications and various projects by various people. Many of them were cool and appreciative; others were perfect examples of casting My Pearls before swine.
Since I’ve taken the time to generously share tools, tips, and techniques from My experience that work with so many, I have compiled the lessons in one, easily accessible place so that many more will be able to benefit.
If you have a question that has not already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*.
Remember your manners… I’m a Domme, not your mom.
CLICK:
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Outing or Protecting?
As anyone who is familiar with Me should know by now, I have NO tolerance for bad behavior. This is why I recently ejected a troll from a party and posted You Won't Like My Events If...
And I have been VERY generous in how I've handled his sad, little creature. I didn't have to "out" him; he did it himself with ludicrous attempts to destroy My Domain while unwittingly serving Me better than if I'd commanded him to serve!
If you didn't know, this creep contacted everyone in his "friends" list on a networking site to warn them that I "threw [him] out for singing and talking to a beautiful woman." he continues to stalk Me by contacting EVERYONE who responds to Me on forum posts with his nonsense (if only he'd put half that effort into becoming a better person). Since birds of a feather flock together, folks who would believe a story like his are too stupid to attend any of My events in the first place. So, while I believe that creatures like him are the reason that birth control should be free and sterilization mandatory, I couldn't pay for better service to My Purpose (not that I would have to)!
The only sad things from this situation are that the 5 people who complained about him at the party had to endure him in the first place and that the "beautiful woman" was a newbie and has told Me that she is now too "creeped out" to attend any fetish events for a while. This is a perfect example of how a distasteful individual is free to offend Us and discourage others from exploring the Beauties of The Fetish Lifestyle because no one has alerted the Community to his repugnance - and how he even made it into My event at all. I accept full responsibility for not following My instincts - which I WILL do from now on - to deny him admission when he arrived in full, creepy fashion. If being disrespectful and "turditudinous" (My new vocabulary word) are his fetish, there are plenty of other events for him and his kind to indulge in.
I will not allow admission to My Events to anyone who does not show the proper respect from the moment they encounter My Domain. Period. I love and respect My Guests and will do everything to ensure Our good times!
Lately, I feel I am unique in that money is not My god; nor do I produce events for the sole purpose of making money. I design events for the enjoyment of communing with like minds and like energies. When someone offends Me and Mine, I believe it is My duty to alert The Community to prevent others from being disrespected and, perhaps, harmed by the offender. If more people were responsible to Our Community and to the people who trust Us, and if more people were brave enough to stand up for what's right against wrong-doers, participating in Our Community would actually be more pleasant instead of a constant flow of dealing with situations where one hopes to avoid having to navigate around "gruesomes".
I respect The Fetish Lifestyle and I believe in having integrity in The Scene. Sadly, far too many do not agree with having honorable intentions and participate in lying, thieving, maligning, and attempts to outright sabotage not only Me and Mine, but many others who make contributions to the ability for Us to enjoy Our Lifestyles. Eventually, the barbarians begin to fight amongst themselves in their quests to build monopolies as they run out of people to screw over. You see this happen all the time.
One of the many reasons that "certain" people dislike Me (aside from the obvious jealousies and, that under no circumstances, do I permit them to have free reign of My Domain) is that I WILL TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT their HEINOUS OFFENSES - and anyone who has ever encountered them will easily recognize Truth. I also ensure that I have proof to back up My statements. My motto is Don't start none, won't be none; I finish it.
Over the years, I have received "flack" from people who think that I should keep incidents of bad behavior between Me and the offenders to Myself - probably, because telling others threatens their safety zones for exposure of their own bad behaviors. Fortunately, I am clear that I will continue to maintain circumstances for the utmost safety in My Domain and protect My guests as a good Hostess should.
Unfortunately, covert and disreputable habits are what is to be expected as the norm these days (and this is one reason why people are rioting on Wall Street). To permit atrocities to go unpunished by remaining silent only contributes to more atrocious behavior in the future. I maintain that If you're not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. Experience has taught Me that exposure (and punishment) of offenders is the best way to maintain the integrity of one's Domain and protect the people you care about.
So, take My commitment to excellence as an invitation to enjoy the safety of My Events and My Domain with intelligent people who have respect, class, and integrity. And take this as a warning, if you are a troll in any way. My responsibility is to enjoying The Best We Can Be and I will be responsible to Our Community even if others are not.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
I Must Not Fear
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
- Frank Herbert, DUNE
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Confusing Dominance for bullying
Recently, I had yet another typically boring incident of someone mistaking My actions to be in line with the nefarious intentions they have in their own actions. If I make a mistake, I WILL apologize. Just tell Me - don't address Me the way one should address their insidiously-ill-mannered-spawn. Though the person’s manner should have been more polite, I quickly apologized and the cow replied back to Me as if she were speaking to a humiliation-sub. Nothing she has serves Me in any way. I was being gracious by contributing to her online forum in the first place.
Then, one of My Domina101™ Attendees contacted Me with a similar problem. So, I’m having a glorious day and I’ve decided to share the Domina101™ tip that I gave to Her:
You have to remember to focus first on Who You Are. These silly creatures out here are so confused by what it means to be Dominant/submissive that they just exhibit bad behavior which reflects their lack of self-love – and they are too ignorant to know it.
Being a Dominant first and foremost requires self-control and personal responsibility. Too many “wanna-doms” think that to treat people with humiliation at any and every opportunity means being “in control.” This is always a set up for what one wishes one coulda-woulda-shoulda done when they come across a True Dominant who actually has a Domain and not just a delusion – like moderating an online group as the extent of one’s domain. For too many cybercreeps, the online “community” is all they have to pretend that they are what they present themselves to be. This is not only pathetic and sad, but a testament to how little they actually think of themselves to be too afraid to venture out into the Real World with those of Us who ARE walking Our talk.
Bullies are cowards which are, in My opinion, down there with the lowest of life forms. A coward always makes everything and everyone a reason for why they are failures. They are first to criticize what you have created while having created nothing of their own. They are first to berate you for making a mistake as if they have never, ever made even one. They do not know how to give compliments because they recognize and despise their lack of self-value. They do not know how to accept apologies because they cannot accept their own fallibility. Somehow, they believe they are perfect and that the world offends them by not showing up according to their limited ability, from even more limited experience, to think that it should be. These are the same people who want to dictate exactly how You should be Dominant in Your Domain while knowing absolutely nothing about You, Your life, Your Reality, etc. It is this type of "little world of domination" mentality that annoys those of Us who are living in the Real World of Owning One's Domain.
I have recently had to post You Won't Like My Events If... as a cordial warning to "space invaders" with this same bullying-distortion of what Dominance is. If one has to bully, one is a coward, not a Domme. A True Dominant knows that She does not lose anything by showing respect, gratitude, and graciousness without waiting for an invitation to do so. She can do this because She loves Herself, is responsible for Her actions, maintains Her Domain, and is not threatened by how other people do things in theirs. Most importantly, A True Dominant has no need to even attempt to enter someone else’s Realm and impose anything on it.
The beauty, as William Shakespeare said, is that “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.” Julius Ceasar, Act 2, Scene II. Sadist that I am, I take much pleasure in knowing that they repeatedly cause their own suffering by avoiding personal responsibility!
More of The Mistress Didi*s Words of Wisdom
Click The Banner Below
~~~
Thursday, September 1, 2011
You Won’t Like My Events If…
You Won’t Like My Events If…
1) You think that My Events are open to everyone, the more-the merrier, or that I desire for everyone to want to attend them. NO. I make it very clear that My Events are NOT for everyone and that only those with the utmost respect and integrity for themselves, for others, and for The Fetish Scene are welcome. I keep the number of attendees at an intimate level to foster a real sense of Community among people with beautiful energies. Creatures who think that to withhold respect and common courtesy is a sign of control/Dominance/self-worth are completely confused and need to learn to become better beings elsewhere.
2) You think that because you attend, it’s all about you. NO, it’s MY Event and you are invited into MY Domain. Invited guests are always on their best behavior or they will be ejected, never to return. Respect and manners are to be given at all times in order for you to receive them. Again, undesireables will be ejected upon the first inkling of bad behavior, never to return. I don’t care how much losers whine to anyone who will entertain garbage; I mean it when I say I don’t want just anyone in My Domain and I fiercely protect My Guests.
3) You think that because you paid admission that you are entitled to every- and anything. NO. You pay admission to offset My costs. Because I don’t enjoy partying in dark dives and paying exorbitant prices for cheap wine and beer, I choose venues, hors d’oeuvres, and. beverages that are of fine quality, are healthy, and that I actually enjoy. Unlike just about every other event promoter I’ve encountered in The Scene, I do not produce events to make money. Since I’m not a trust-fund-kid, I have a budget to adhere to in order to share some of the delights of My Domain with others. My goal is to create a good time with good people and (hopefully) break-even with My expenses. I produce events so that:
a) I create a milieu to attract like-energies;
b) I can meet people I’d actually like to commune with;
c) I can meet quality Dominants and submissives rather than tolerate the many “dummes” and “substandards” that troll around everywhere;
d) I can create a safe haven for people who have a sincere desire to learn and share with and from the Fetish Elite; and
e) I can enjoy the company of people I already know and like.
Notice the key word in the above sentences: “I.” I create the type of events that I wish were available for Me to enjoy. If you attend My Events, you are contributing to your ability to enjoy the finer things that are standard in My Domain.
4) You want to determine the Rules of Protocol. NO. Titles are used and ClassicFetish™ etiquette is demanded of all who enter into My Domain. Since My best friends address Me as Mistress Didi, so will you, and I will reciprocate in kind. Others are also to be address by their titles, unless told otherwise by the individuals. Ma’am, Mistress, Miss, and Sir are to be used at all times. Thank you, please, and excuse me are also expected in conversations of all who attend. Courtesy is a gift that is returned ten-fold. If any of this is a problem for you or your owner, do not attend, which will be a Win-Win for Me no matter how one looks at it.
5) You think you know everything about producing events and ridiculously dare to even think to tell Me how I should produce Mine in MY Domain. Or worse, you want to whine about what you want in My Domain. NO. Produce your own events and, if they are not in a sleazoid venue with a self-indulgent DJ blasting music so that I can’t even hear Myself speak, I will check out what you offer. If it’s not My thing, I have the grace not to disrespect your creation; I just won’t be a frequent visitor. I support you in creating what you desire and sincerely wish you well in your endeavors. That’s what Self-Love and Respect look like in practice; there’s no need or reason for jealousy, avarice, pettiness, etc. from anyone for anyone else. I understand that The Universe works so that when one wins, We can all win, if We are available to prosperity consciousness. It’s also called having class and good upbringing.
6) You think you should or will be catered to. NO. I am a Real Domme, not your mom. Again, an invited guest does not try to be the center of attention, hog all the Play or the party photographer, or dictate to My staff or guests. I am also not a “hoochie-with-a-whip” in the service industry; I’m in the “be served” business. It serves Me and brings Me joy to produce events where cool people enjoy themselves and each other.
7) You lack social skills. For example, although I have event staff, clean up after yourself. That’s common courtesy and respectful of other guests. Basic social graces are all that are required to be a participant in any of My Events. Since there is an epidemic of growing numbers of people who lack such skills, I have taken the time to give yet another gift in the form of a Free eBook: How To Properly Present yourself To A Mistress, which is a primer in basic Scene etiquette that is a great resource for Dominants and submissives alike.
8) You think I’m elitist. YES, I am. And with good reason. I’ve dedicated Myself to becoming a skilled, Fetish Artist with many years of blood, sweat, and tears (which was a lot of fun for Me and My Playmates) to honestly walk My talk. I cultivated My style with grace and aplomb to become an expert in many techniques. I am offended by all these “dummes” and “substandards” who dare to dictate to ME, and others of My caliber, on the who-what-how things should be when they can barely even hold a flogger to flail it. My Domain and My Events are for the crème-de-la-crème of The Fetish Lifestyle and for those who wish to contribute to and be a part of Us.
9) You think I’m a bitch and you don’t understand the power. YES, I am proud to be a REAL Dominant who is Being In Total Control of Herself = My Domain. The primary reason that I am Dominant is because I want things the way I want them in My Domain (the same goes for just about every other Dominant that I know and associate with). The truth is that most people think you’re a bitch when they can’t have what they want in your Domain. These kinds of people are lazy and lack personal responsibility for their own lives and want to invade yours. I don’t allow this on any level.
I also do not care if people like Me or what I create in My Domain. If you don’t like it, don’t accept My gracious invitation to join Me in it. Simple.
It’s not your job to like Me; it’s Mine. ~ Byron Katie
If any of the above holds true for you, My Events are NOT for you. Life is too short to spend time on things that do not fit in with your comfort zone and I support you in enjoying what does. My Events are just a few of many opportunities to be grateful for your freedom to choose. Please be grateful for such freedom; not everyone has it.
You are responsible for the energy you bring. ~ Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi*
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Party Assistant Opportunity for SWIRL 8/18
I am again offering a fantastic opportunity for 2 cool people (with good manners and presentation) to assist at My SWIRL After-Work Meet & Greet Play Party on Thursday, August 18th from 6pm to Midnight! - see details below.
What makes service to Me at My Events so fabulous? 1 hour on duty, 1 hour off duty so you have time to commune and Play!
Duties will include clean-up, bartending, setup and break down, so your commitment will be for the entire evening. I promise to have you on your way home (if that's where you choose to go) by 12:30AM.
If interested, contact Me DIRECTLY at MistressDidi1@gmail.com with 8/18 PARTY ASSISTANT in the Subject Line of your email.
If things work out, you may be able to attend My future events and/or private soirees as My Special Guest with a friend!
Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EVENT: The Return of SWIRL ~ After-Work ClassicFetish™ Play Party
DATE: Thursday, August 18, 2011
TIME: 6:00PM – Midnight
EVENT TYPE: Casual Meet & Greet, ClassicFetish™ Art Party
LOCATION: PRIVATE Midtown Venue – RSVP ONLY
CONTACT: http://PartyDomme.com
SWIRL After-Work Meet & Greet
ClassicFetish™ Play Party
Time to make the Magick again!
The next SWIRL After-Work Meet & Greet
ClassicFetish™ Play Party
where you can Blend your Fetish with your vanilla!
is on August 18th!
Read about the fun at the last SWIRL in Socially Superlative Magazine here: http://bit.ly/DDssoc
The Mistress Didi* created SWIRL for you to be able to attend a PRIVATE, Fetish gathering straight from work, have good conversations with good people you want to Play with, enjoy nice wines and hors d’oeuvres, and still get enough rest to work the next day! The Mistress Didi* believes in building the Fetish Community rather than solely seeking to profit from it.
What makes The Mistress Didi*s events unique is that She designs an exceptional Fetish experience to attend to your desire to entertain what thrills you in a civilized, adult environment that appeals to your senses and sensibilities. Her events are an alternative to the “loud & crowd” collections. The Mistress Didi*s MUSIC is specifically formulated for a multi-cultural & comfortable groove, played at conversational decibel levels, and to boost your endorphin flow for added pleasure!
Again, there will be an Open Champagne Bar and healthy hors d’oeuvres through the evening! (Read The Mistress Didi*s Policy on Drinking at Her Events.)
SWIRL is NOT a pay-to-play type of party. It is a REAL social gathering of Fabulous Fetishists! SWIRL is a safe space to be your best and enjoy the best that others bring for BetterFetish™!
Special Admission is available for online purchasers beginning August 8th and there is a SPECIAL EARLY ADMISSION RATE – so don’t delay! It should go without saying, but it will be said anyway: your privacy is paramount and NONE of your information will be shared with any beings at any time. Cash only will be accepted at the door.
ALL ATTENDEES MUST RSVP or you will be denied admission – no exceptions. RSVPs will close at 1:00PM on August 18th, so it is advisable to RSVP with a “maybe” status to be on the safe side. Don’t forget to bring a Toy or two!
A few of Us have been singing the low-funds-blues, so if you are experiencing a bit of a cash drought, contact The Mistress Didi*s assistant to be of service at the party with opportunities to enjoy yourself.
www.PartyDomme.com for more info and updates. Party Etiquette is strictly adhered to. Novices welcome to Our safe, sane & consensual environment.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Positive Thinking Doesn't Work?
This is an excerpt from My response to a post by the fabulous Jennifer Shelton at FemCentral. I've modified it to speak directly to you.
*****
Semantics. What one person calls "positive thinking" is called "mindfulness" by another person writing a book to sell. "Positive thinking" can also be included in chanting, meditation, and so many other modalities designed to gain control over FEAR = False Experiences Appearing Real.In My experience, Positive Thinking is actually CHOOSING empowering thoughts and actions over disempowering ones. The same amount of time and energy spent on worrying about something that -could- happen can be spent on focusing on what you -want- to create and "Love Me Time" which allows you to get out of the way of achieving your goals. The stress that people choose to "think" with determines manifestation.The bottom line is RESPONSIBILITY and ACTION. There is no one thing that is going to be a cure-all for every person. We are responsible for trying and adapting new things all the time and evolving along THE PROCESS OF OUR DEVELOPMENT. This requires commitment.And cultural perspective is thrown in there, too. It's not only what society tells you to want, it's HOW you choose to want it. For example, "positive thinking" will only work as far as the whiny-person-who-believes-she-is-entitled-to-everything-without-making-an-effort is willing NOT to whine. In cultures that expect instant gratification and permanent healing from a pill, the idea that TOOLS such as "positive thinking," meditation, affirmation (and everything else that is designed to RE-CONDITION your thought processes) actually require continuous exercise immediately makes people insist that the TOOLS do not work. In reality, people are not "working the tools."Such laziness and lack of gratitude for all that IS available to Us to figure out how to work for Our individual needs is why We have a society of fat, lazy, slovenly individuals suing McDonald's for the fact that they CHOOSE to eat the toxic food rather than do the work to eat healthily.All of this relates to self-worth; do you believe you are WORTHY of what you desire?You are not entitled to anything; you have to do the work to DESERVE everything. You have to Work Your Magick (which IS everything that you choose to design in your life). The Comfort Zone of "focusing on being the victim" is the perfect way for all these people to get rich writing books, etc., for and against everything that has worked throughout "herstory" to validate people staying in their comfort zones and whining about it.It's not that something that has been proven to work for a multitude of others "doesn't work;" YOU aren't working it.Discipline is a good thing and self-discipline is the greatest of your powers.
Friday, August 5, 2011
When Met with the 4 I's (from Knight of Halos)
My friend, who is known as Knight of Halos, offered this Pearl of Wisdom:
When We exhibit Self-Esteem, Confidence, and Conscience, those who have what I call a "lack of self" (they lack self-love, self-awareness, self-value, etc.) meet you with the "4 I's":
Idiosyncracies, Inadequacies, Insecurities and other behaviors demonstrating their Inferiority Complex - masked by Narcissism.
Here's an example of what that looks like:
Have you ever experienced a person who, when he recognizes that you are talented in some way, begins to nit-pick at every and anything you do (inadequacy)? Then, everything becomes your fault - the reason the sun isn't shining today is somehow your doing.
He begins to do little things to invalidate you, such as withhold acknowledgement and/or affection (idiosyncracy). This behavior further devolves with accusations that you are trying to sabotage his sense of well-being and belittle him, usually with a focus on what he perceives as his accomplishents (insecurity) - until he accuses you of what he actually believes about himself - e.g., the bottom line: you think he is a loser.
Inveitably, and just a matter of time, he must belitte you with concepts of that you are not good enough to be with him (this is a sign of narcissism in one of its forms that is contrary to popular understanding). YOU must be the problem that he does not feel as fabulous as he lies to himself that he is. It is easier to blame you for his recognition of his lacking than it is to actually do the work to improve himself to reach his personal goals (cowardice). All of these behaviors are classic demonstations of an inferiority complex. We see this sad condition in all areas of the world, in all walks of life, in just about every situation We deal with.
This is why it is so important to Remember Your Value. Too many times, people We love and trust choose to operate from FEAR (False Experiences Appearing Real) at any cost. You can become a casualty of their wars with themselves if you do not protect yourself and maintain your focus. It's fine to understand their emotional difficulties, but it is unacceptable to permit their lack of self to destroy your sense of self.
This is why Forgiveness is such an invaluable tool. Forgiveness is not about forgetting or saying, "what you did is OK with me." (In fact, you should never forget; you should learn from the lesson. The offense was not OK with you; but you can use the experience to learn to choose how you will handle such situations from now on.)
Forgiveness is about making peace with your actions and emotions concerning the person's offenses to you. Holding onto resentment will only foster "dis-ease" and make you ill. You forgive the other person in order to move on to the next level of your development because you cannot change another person. The only person or things you can change in your life begin and end with you (how you choose to handle situations). Everything else is an agreement.
*****
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Surprised that I'm A Giving Goddess?
I'm always astounded by the ridiculous misconception that to be a Dominant Sadist means to be ill-mannered, ill-tempered, selfish, greedy, and everything that the "hoochies-with-whips" abominate The Scene by being.
As I state on My Websites, I am a Giving Goddess. I do not wish to ever raise My voice, I prefer to make requests rather than demands, and I prefer to reward rather than to punish.So, whenever I offer a Gift to The Community, I am saddened by the comments of appreciation including statements such as, "It's nice to know that there are still kind people out there." It's also disparaging that those who are offenders of The Scene have the ludicrous audacity to be offended when their offenses are not tolerated in My Domain. they band together with others of their kind to call Me "elitist" and a bitch. their lack of vocabulary comprehension is only slightly less than their lack of integrity.First of all, I'm a BITCH = Being In Total Control of Herself (My Domain) and the only reason they're whining is because they're used to the "silly bitch syndrome" that their mothers effected by permitting them to believe that they are special without offering value to The Whole.Second, if desiring to be around people with class, integrity, self-respect, and consideration makes Me elitist, I'm proud to be an elitist *snob* on top of that. I'm not a hypocrite; if I don't respect a person, I don't have anything to do with her/him.I recognize My value by how I present Myself and My Gifts to The Whole. I walk My talk. I am secure enough in Myself to know that I do not lose anything when I share My beauty, talents, etc. Karma is a magnificent thing; what you offer returns to you multiplied. Intelligent people know that kindness does not equal weakness. In fact, kindness gives you a powerful tool of revelation: people show you how they want to be treated. Being a sadist, I will take the opportunity to torture them with enlightenment, which, in itself, is a win-win for Me because I offer a Karmic good.I return to My Mission of creating a Domain of honor, intelligence, creativity, beauty, and the opportunities for personal evolution through The Fetish Lifestyle. I realize that more than ever, My Mission is in place to serve the need of The Greater Good.And I'm excited and energized by this!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Looking for Lovelies for Party Service 7/28 NYC
After a long hiatus due to a horrible fall down a flight of marble stairs, I'm back and starting My events off with a fabulous after-work, Play Party!
Since it is summer and folks are indulging in vacations, 2 of My Lovelies will be unable to assist Me on 7/28.
So, I am offering a fantastic opportunity for 2 subs (with good manners and presentation) to assist at My SWIRL After-Work ClassicFetish™ Play Party - see details below.
What makes service to Me at My Events so fabulous? 1 hour on duty, 1 hour off duty so you have time to commune and Play!
Duties will include clean-up, bartending, setup and break down, so your commitment will be for the entire evening. I promise to have you on your way home (if that's where you choose to go) by 12:30AM.
If interested, contact Me DIRECTLY at MistressDidi1@gmail.com with 7/28 PARTY ASSISTANT in the Subject Line of your email.
If things work out, you may be able to attend My future events and/or private soirees as My Special Guest with a friend!
Always MY Pleasure,
The Mistress Didi
EVENT: The Return of SWIRL ~ After-Work ClassicFetish™ Play Party
DATE: Thursday, July 28, 2011
TIME: 6:00PM – Midnight
EVENT TYPE: Casual Meet & Greet, Fetish Art Party
LOCATION: PRIVATE Midtown Venue – RSVP ONLY
CONTACT: http://PartyDomme.com
The Return of SWIRL ~ After-Work ClassicFetish™Play Party ~ blending your Fetish with your vanilla!
SWIRL is created for you to be able to attend a PRIVATE, Fetish gathering straight from work, have good conversations with good people, enjoy nice wines and hors d’oeuvres, Play, and still get enough rest to work the next day!
SWIRL attends to your desire to entertain what thrills you in a civilized, adult environment that appeals to your senses and sensibilities.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Tips To Remember Your Value
Especially now, as the energies are aligning for Us to become the best We can be, it is paramount to take stock and value yourself!
Who knew that when I wrote My blog post, End of A Love Affair and the "gruesomes" that I would receive over 50 emails of thanks to date and they keep coming! I will tell the truth and say that My post was a warning to creatures I find offensive in every way to mind their own business and keep their noses out of Mine. However, as always, I endeavor to come from the Highest Place of Love and Consideration that I can present and in this way, I touched the hearts of many people to help them transition to a place of peace with relationship... stuff...
These dialogs all seem to resolve to the same place: the lack of recognition of one's own worth because value is placed on someone else. Reality Check: 1) no one can love you if you do not love yourself and 2) you cannot love someone who does not love himself - he won't let you and will torture you for trying (it's the nature of the self-loathing).
Fortunately for Us all, I believe that to be of service is the highest good and that's not just for The Fetish Lifestyle. Many people don't bother to actually read My website to be aware of My therapeutic credentials which are listed in My bio. And everything in My Bio is True. So, I've presented below a segment of some advice I gave in response to a letter from a fabulous person to remind Us all to remember to Value Your Truth. These tips are beneficial for a variety of situations in Our lives, not just for relationships of the heart.
Tips To Remember Your Value
... When a relationship ends, We tend to over-complicate things and over-analyze every thought and emotion We have. What you need to remember is that you don't have to make yourself miserable when a situation doesn't work the way you "expected" it to. Here are some tips for getting over "the blues" (whatever their source):
| 1. | The question to ask first and foremost is, "How does what I'm doing right now serve Me?" Seriously, does sitting around sulking about a soured relationship actually do anything constructive for your happiness? Here's where discipline is key: you can choose to be better. Develop skills and habits to support you Being Better. |
| 2. | Self-Assessment. Make a list of 1) the qualities that you like about yourself - list no less than 10; 2) things you know that you are good at doing; 3) skills/talents that you have; 4) things that other people you respect appreciate about you; and 5) prove each of the things on your list with real-life situations that you have done/are doing. Read this list daily to boost your positive and powerful energies and to render criticism (especially ugly-break-up accusations) useless and unfounded. NEVER compare yourself to anyone else in her/his life. Seriously, why should you care? Why want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? If someone compares you to a person in their past, they have not moved on from their "drama" and cannot fully be committed to you. If they compare you to a new lover, defuse their abuse by saying, "Sounds like you deserve each other. Good luck," and get away from them. Choose to have a better-for-you situation all the way around. |
| 3. | Identify how the PERSON differs from the IDEAL you hold/held of her/him. Every time you begin torturing yourself with false visions of how you want to believe s/he is, remember how s/he REALLY is and notice how HUGE the difference is. Most often, you will see that warning signs occurred in the relationship but Our commitment to Our fantasy ideals set Us up for a "predictable disappointment." Next time, We can choose to commit to paying attention to the signs in order to make healthy relationship choices along the way. |
| 4. | Don't play the "make-wrong-game" on yourself or the other person. The reason you feel that the situation was "wrong" was because it did not meet your expectations. The make-wrong-game fosters negative, toxic energy that turns in on yourself. Your time could be better used on forgiveness and loving yourself more so that you will attract the person who can love you the way you want to be loved and who will deserve to love you. |
| 5. | Forgiveness. When you break it down the to lowest level, you are forgiving yourself and the other(s) for NOT showing up to fit your expectations and/or fantasies. Repeat often: "It could NOT have been any other way than the way it was." Wasting time on what coulda-woulda-shoulda-been is completely unproductive. You could be indulging in Love-Me-Time and committing to your Joy. Remember the good qualities that the person had which attracted you to her/him. This alleviates you from making yourself wrong for the fact that the person stopped displaying those qualities with you. It also validates the qualities that you like in a partner and frees you to continue to enjoy them in the NEXT person. Practicing this habit also allows you to smile and laugh at the good things, which is an exercise in positive energy generation for your success. Forgive yourself for any and all situations that you participated in and acknowledge yourself for your good contributions. You did what you did, s/he did what s/he did and that's that. Nothing was ever all good or all bad. Let the good be valuable to your Life Lessons and let the bad be indications of what not to do next time. If the opportunity presents itself and is right, you can say you're sorry that things didn't work out and wish the other person well. You do this as part of evolving to the next level of forgiveness for yourself and for completion with the other person. Have NO attachment to their behavior or the outcome. Forgiveness is first and foremost for YOURSELF. |
| 6. | Listen to your thoughts and actively choose to condition them to support your goals. Pay attention. Check in before you freak out. Don't be afraid of what you will find inside yourself because your ultimate power for happiness is within you. By constantly dwelling on negative, self-defeating thoughts, you create a void within yourself. "Nature seeks to fill a void," so if you are not careful of what you put in, the probability for all kinds of dreadful crap to fill your vessel (people, DIS-eases, misfortunes, etc.) is VERY realistic. Again, develop skills and habits to support you Being Better. |
| 7. | Stop whining and move on. It seems that far too many of Us are conditioned to be addicted to misery. Too many people spend an enormous amount of time and energy making themselves miserable and when they can't do that adequately, they look to make others miserable. Misery is the comfort zone for people who fail to brave to Be Better. The best way to make yourself - and others who have to tolerate you miserable is to "beat a dead horse," as the dreadful expression goes. It is valid to have your feelings, to grieve, and to have your process. However, it is not the goal to make the grieving process your new existence. On this occasion, a little tough love will get straight to the point: grow up, stop whining, take positive action, and move on. Many people are not aware that they are trapped in the misery-making-mode. So, a good way to check if you are is to look in the mirror. Can you smile at yourself and like what you see? If not, do whatever it takes to Be Better. "Take responsibility for the energy you bring." ~ Dr. Jill Bolt Taylor |
| 8. | Learn to enjoy your own company. This is the most important step of all. Without realizing it, many people jump into relationships to avoid feeling lonely and being alone. This fear is generated from a lack of self-validation and self-appreciation. If you don't like your own company, why should anyone else? Make it a conscious habit to be good to yourself and with yourself. |
NOTE: As you Become Better, there is the strong probability that many of the people you thought were part of your support system become tacky in ways that appear to be jealousy. Don't take this as a personal attack; they are feeling their comfort zones being shaken by you braving to Be Better. You may have to make some tough choices to let them go - which may only be for now. But as you commit to loving and caring for yourself, you will attract people of like minds, like energies, and the ability to love you the way you deserve to be loved! I am living proof that this IS true!
And just in case you're really dealing with some horrible creatures, being happy and looking fabulous are always the best ... justice!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I've Grabbed The Chariot's Reigns!
Triumph over adversity, overcoming life's obstacles, decisiveness and ambition in achieving one's goals, well deserved victory. A period of struggle ending in worldly success. Self control, effort, perseverance. Working within the boundaries of one's life to build up a successful existence.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Interesting ~ 11s
Calendar for July 2011
| July | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Money bags This year, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens
once every 823 years. This is called money bags. So, forward this to
your friends and money will arrive within 4 days. Based on Chinese
Feng Shui. The one who does not forward.....will be without money.
Kinda interesting - read on!!!
This year we're going to experience four unusual dates. 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that's not all... Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born - now add
the age you will be this year, The results will be 111 for everyone in whole world. This is the year of
the Money!!! The proverb goes that if you send this to eight good friends money will
appear in next four days as it is explained in Chinese FENGSHUI.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
End of A Love Affair & The “gruesomes”
I am writing this post as a courtesy for damage control. I am astounded that creatures who never bother to say hello or be polite to Me at events have the audacity to contact Me inquiring about a situation with a person I dated. Seriously, I would not have ever imagined such insidious behavior – even from people who obviously don’t read anything about Me.
I tell people what I want them to know. Period. The only reason I’m bothering to comment on the scavenging is to eliminate the opportunity for the usual-jealous-ugly-creatures to besmirch the person who is no longer a part of My life – though, the bumpkins will gossip lies anyway because that is all they have. This behavior is typical of people with a low sense of self-worth with good reason.
My Mother is a lady, as are/were ALL of the Women in My Family on all sides for as many generations as I can count. I grew up with and continue to be surrounded by a lot of love. Perhaps, this (also known as “good breeding” and “good home training”) is why I have no sense of jealousy for any other person and the ability to genuinely be happy for and wish other people well. I do not revel in the pains of others, not even those I intensely dislike due to their offenses against Me. Such behavior subtracts from your own worth and attracts negativity to you. I am enough in Myself that I do not need to waste energy “dissing” others when I could put that energy into doing more things to honor and love Myself.
I am disgusted by people who do not love or value themselves. I call these creatures “gruesomes” because they are not only ugly on the inside, they are inevitably ugly on the outside. Instead of seeking to improve the conditions of their lives, they seek to belittle everyone and everything in order to feel comfortable in their gruesomeness. They create communities of others like them to wallow in the muck and mire of the pathetic excuses for lives they choose to create while seeking out those of Us who truly are fabulous to lie, cheat, and attempt to sling into the feculence of their miserable realities.
A True Lady does not discuss the details of Her love affairs or such matters that are usually put into that category. If She has cause to mention the departed lover, She refrains from any displays of negativity – especially in public and particularly around gruesomes.
I will NEVER speak ill of anyone I have had any sort of relationship (or attempts at relationships) with because I have too much self-respect to have the need to besmirch another person. This is evident in the way I have never spoken ill of the silly dummes who have attempted to gain attention for themselves by telling lies on Me – and they’re still telling those same, old, tired, lies that have been exposed! People with a sense of low-self-worth do not ever realize that a person’s truths are evident based on their merits, which is why like attracts like and the fabulous associate with the fabulous and the gruesomes hang with the gruesomes. Take a good look around you.
I am evolved enough as a human being to understand that every person is unique to your experience and that when people don’t click, you should move on. I accept responsibility for My actions, which include choosing to stay in/leave situations with the goal of My happiness. Because I not only value Myself, I honor My integrity and I choose to remember the positive qualities that I found attractive in people who are now in My Past. I encourage everyone to do the same to reject negative feelings that do not serve you. If you love yourself, you do not need to have contempt for anyone you attempted to love.
When all the gossip buzzes around you like flies to manure, take a good look at the perpetrators, and see just how gruesome they are. There’s value to the adage: Consider the source. Sometimes, you can judge a book by its cover.
Click the banner for your FreeBook
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Ugly Americans
(Click links for definitions.)
How many times has history shown that bad behavior yields punishment, retaliation, vendettas?
It always disgusts Me to observe "typical," American behavior of bullying, berating, back-stabbing, and belligerence that makes the world hate Us. People are parading through the streets due to the assasination of Osama Bin Laden while the world watches and twitter keeps showing the fail whale. They give fuel to fires of hatred that bring Us misery and they have not learned that such arrogance is the root of so many of Our problems at home (e.g., Wall Street thievery going unpunished and unapologized for) and abroad.
This behavior lacks honor by eliminating the opportunity to have dignity in the defeat of this enemy.
Truly great individuals take comfort in vindication without the need to ostentatiously stoop to the lowest levels of expression.
If one is truly great, one does not need to gloat or goad. Doing so disrespects the honor of the memories of those who died at the hands of Our enemies and We are no better than the worst of Our offenders.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Untitled
“Have the courage to say no.
Have the courage to face the truth.
Do the right thing because it is right.
These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity”.
- W. Clement Stone
Thursday, March 31, 2011
We've all had days like this...
May your troubles be less,
Your blessings more,
And may nothing but happiness,
Come through your door
Monday, March 28, 2011
Affirmation of The Day: Observing ~ by Dr. Ellie Drake
Observing ~ by Dr. Ellie Drake
Observing, rather than reacting, makes me realize that I am bigger than the challenges in my life.
I create positive energy which will then project thoughts of higher vibrations into The Universe.In return, I attract positive people, circumstances, and situations in resonsance with the positive qualities of the thoughts I project.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
A Quick Hello Newsletter!
| The Importance of Classic Fetish™ Resources Fun Stuff SUBSCRIBE by RSS EMAIL FRAUD ALERT! Stimulating Quotes |
