The information in this post is part of a Domina 101 Lesson. Click HERE for details on the next workshop and course.
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I just had a 3-way phone call with My Mother and one of the hospital, social workers assigned to one of My relatives who requires extended, special care. This person has attempted to schmooze and placate My Mother to cover his inadequacies and has delayed taking action for several weeks on the situation that was addressed this morning,
As promised, as of January 1, 2011, I took the reigns from My Mother The Queen and We're doing things My way. Where My Mother is amazingly polite to the point of being taken less seriously than She deserves to be treated (common to Women of Her generation and those before), I am direct, precise, and I make it clear that, on no uncertain terms, punishment will ensue if standards and practices are not properly met.
The phone call began at 11:04AM and ended at 11:15AM to My satisfaction - after I contacted the individual only once (using the techniques described below). My Mother said that She now sees why I do things the way that I do and that My process is much more efficient. Hazzah!
My Mother used to think that telling people what to do and using "threats" of punisment (I don't threaten, I promise) was mean and abrassive. We live in a world where the main thing people respond to is the fear of being exposed and they are motivated by pain - whether the desire to receive it or not.
I believe that by telling a person what I want and offering guidance on how he can accomplish this efficiently is a service - not only to Me but to the person and to society at large. The person gains the benefit of learning how to be efficient which improves his ability to perform his job well and boosts his self-esteem - which has a ripple effect on The Whole. The person now better serves himself and all the people who come behind Me. See? That's My Signature Win-Win and good karma.
Here is My Process for making people responsible for the jobs they are supposed to do:
- Put EVERYTHING in writing. Creating a paper trail is the best way to ensure that you receive what you desire and that guilty parties are punished, if necessary. Send copies by email and fax so that you have proof of delivery;
- Outline your requests in numbered and/or bulleted form so that the reader can easily pay attention to details
- State that you will follow-up
- If you are not satisfied with the action taken, send another letter with your objectives clearly outlined (AGAIN)
- Be certain to state how the action taken is not satisfactory
- Outline the steps you want taken to reach the objective you desire
- Copy "higher-ups" and an attorney/monitoring organization. Always the "cc:" be seen at the bottom of your letter under your signature.
- Be certain to send a copy of your letter to the supervisor and/or attorney/monitoring organization
IMPORTANT:
- You can be polite and respectful while being direct and strong.
- It is always better to empower people than to diminish or threaten.
- Most people want to feel liked and appreciated and smarter than they are.
- If you are satisfied with the person's performance, be certain to follow-up with some type of acknowledgement. People remember kindness and feeling appreciated. They will respond more quickly and efficiently to you in the future.
- Even though you may feel that they are merely donig their jobs, an emotional caress will always take you further than an emotional slap... in most cases.
- Even though you may feel that they are merely donig their jobs, an emotional caress will always take you further than an emotional slap... in most cases.
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- It is not necessary to be nasty unless they start it first. In that case, make sure you respond eloquently with your complaint to their superior.
Remember, always think before you act. - It is always better to empower people than to diminish or threaten.
NOTE: It is important to file complaints because you contribute to a better working system. Perhaps, your single complaint may not make an instant difference, but if enough people complain to the proper authorities, action will occur. If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.
